Mourning the Untimely Death of my Wedding Shoes

I had a bit  a ton of anxiety about wedding dress shopping.  I’m not a twig, not a size 2 (or 3 or 4 even 10).  I was totally afraid of the wedding dress shopping experience but it ended up being really great!  I found my dress on the first day I went shopping.  I’ve sighed many a breath of relief and happiness knowing I have that oh so perfect dress that every bride dreams of.  It is most definitely everything I wanted in a dress.  Whew!  How easy!  Now for the fun part, right?  The SHOES!  Dun dun dun.  Not so much.

My first round of shoe shopping was a fun day at the mall with my bridesmaid/slash/cake designer, Jess.  I found a pair like that (imagine me snapping my fingers in the air). “Score!” I thought.  They sat in my closet, just waiting to meet my dress.  I got the call from the bridal shop telling me that my dress was in months early!  Another whew!  I tried it on at the shop and fell in love all over again.  The shoes on the other hand, didn’t quite get along with the dress.  They just didn’t go.  They were so darn cute that I wanted to keep them but alas they had to be returned.  Back to the drawing board.  So I gave them one last look and sent them back.

I shopped until I dropped for the perfect pair of shoes that would work with the champagne color of my wedding dress.  When I dropped, I scoured Zappos from my comfy bed and shopped some more.  It took what felt like forever, but I finally found them.  I found THESE:

They had them in my size and everything.  They came to me and they were beautiful!  I had dreams of wearing them not only on my wedding day but again and again until the end of time.  It was love at first site.  And second.  Finding these completely diminished my sadness about the first pair having to go back.  I LOVE THESE SHOES.  I wish the story ended here…you know, with a happily ever after.

But no.  Planning on breaking these beauties in a little before our big day, I wore them to Target.  One store.  A quick 20-30 minute outing.  That’s it.  I came home with a number of blisters and missing rhinestones.  I wanted to cry.  Let’s be honest, there was a tear or two shed over these misleading shoes.  In all their beauty, they hurt like a bitch!  Whoever designed these shoes are sadists.  They must hate feet.  The bottoms were so slippery I almost fell down the stairs.  Blisters like you wouldn’t believe after only 20 minutes and 2 laps around the store.  I’m miserably disappointed.  If you see me with bloodshot eyes and blisters on my feet, know that I’m grieving.  They must go back to Shoe Land a la Zappos and once again I’m left without shoes for my wedding only weeks away.  If you see me barefoot under that dress, don’t be surprised.  You’ve been warned!  I guess I better make sure I get a pedicure huh?

Here’s hoping the third time’s a charm.  Think me some happy shoe thoughts would you?  Stay tuned for more wedding planning disasters.  I’ve got plenty this week.  Oh joy.